why isn’t there a middle finger emoji i swear i would use it 99% of the time
party at my house bring food then leave
sunglasses emoji only wears his shades to hide the tears
a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.
*trys to hit high note of favorite song*
becoming self aware of your breathing and blinking is the worst thing
I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.
Marc Maron (via senyahearts)
- baby: m....m...m
- mom: mama? ma? mommy?
- baby: m...m...
- baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT
if you can’t beat them, dress better than them